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My Favourite Marriage Advice Resources

In the last couple weeks I've been getting through a large quantity of marriage related resources and that was because I was excited and passionate to keep reading and taking note of what other people have said.

But one of the lessons I've been learning is that sometimes you are ripe to hear a certain message and grow in a particular way when others may not be at the same time. My fiancĂ© was probably not as ripe for all of the messages shared in these resources in the same time as myself and so I share this with you to warn against showing these books down your partner's throat. 

It can come across quite forceful when you are passionate about the advice a resource has and want your partner to know it too. Just make sure you are asking nicely for them to join you in reading books like this and that they don't end up taking on a lot of pressure from you.

With that out of the way here are my recommendations:

How Do You Know if Someone Is "The One"?
Video by Jefferson Bethke
Something a lot of people worry about before they actually get engaged is if their partner is 'the one.' The truth is this concept was created by Hollywood; it is not from God. In this video Jeff breaks down the concept of free will when you're looking for your future husband or wife.

Love & Respect
Book by Dr. Emerson Eggriches, 336 pages
Audiobook read by the author, 9 hours

The best non-fiction book I've ever read. The differences between men and women from the way we are coded to function is an incredible display of God's image. The realisation that men are blue, women are pink, coming together to make purple; the colour of royalty was something I also came up with in 2013 but that's how this book concludes. 

The Meaning Of Marriage
Book by Timothy Keller with Kathy Keller, 288 pages
Audiobook read by James Loyd, 8 hours

There are heaps of ideas in here that if given the chance I'd shove them down everyone's throat. This book could be responsible for cleaning up the entire world's view of marriage from a self-centred celebration of the love they already have (which I don't agree with as the purpose of having a wedding) to a covenant of best friends who choose to help each other become more like christ.

Marriage is the most challenging and rewarding relationship you could ever have with another human, however the world's idea of living together first is like knowing the questions before going into an exam. This book explains those rewards and helps you form the right mindset that will have you facing the challenges in the right way.

Laugh your way to a Better Marriage
Seminar by Mark Gungor

I'll link you to the official wed page where you can order the dvd, but I have found it on YouTube saved it in downloads and listened to it in the car. I don't actually recommend listening without watching because you end up missing a lot of jokes.

Mark's performance shows training in voice and drama, and comedy. This recording is over a decade old but the humour and the truth bombs that go off every minute may just be timeless. Pop it on and watch this one together with your spouse, or better yet the whole family.

Things I Wish I'd Known Before We Got Married
Book by Gary Chapman, 161 pages
Audiobook read by Chris Fabry, 4 hours long

This is one that I find best to read a single chapter when you're ready to improve yourself. This is 12 chapters talking about very different elements of married life and perspective to help you prepare for it. We all have dreams and expectations of what it will be like when we get married but it's important to have perspective of what is realistic and actually fits in with the character's of yourself and your partner.

The 5 Love Languages
Book by Gary Chapman, 203 pages
Audiobook read by the author, 5 hours

I haven't read this one in a long time but I know it's a good one to pick up every once in a while to read the chapter that will most help you love on your spouse. It turns out that different people have different ways of showing their love and different things others can do for them will have more impact on making them feel loved even if they are meant with the same intention of love.

Through years of marriage counselling Garry chapman has found it useful to categorise the ultimate ways people receive and express love into 5 categories; touch, quality time, gifts, serving and words. It's important to help your partner and your self in loving each other by working out which of these can make the best impact on your heart for feeling cared for and loved.


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Levi an I have been using a relationship quiz app for a month or so now.

It keeps us talking about topics that aren't currently part of our lives. Like what do we think we would be like as parents.

When I started I was confused and didn't know how to use it or where everything was, but I can look back and say I wasn't actually missing anything. Also I like the bright colours :)

You can see where we do best in the different topics as questions are answered correctly. This here shows that we probably have more of a friendship dynamic with our relationship.

It personalises the questions by substitution your partner's name, so you never forget who the question is about :p

And tells you when your partner has played and the results are in...

Sometimes the answers available are quite extreme and there's a lack of medium options.

That's when being able to write your own answer comes in handy.

What would you answer for this question? Can you answer it right for me too?

2 Cautionary Arguments against The Passion & Message Bible

2 Peter 1:20-21 English Standard Version Knowing this first of all, that no prophecy of Scripture comes from someone's own interpretation. For no prophecy was ever produced by the will of man, but men spoke from God as they were carried along by the Holy Spirit.


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Why I'm Not Using Hormonal Birth Control

When I was recently trying out a new birth control pill, I immediately started showing symptoms that I could not deal with on a daily basis. Then I got to thinking about the long term effects  this drug could have and it was then, at 4 days into my pack, that I remembered the dreadful dark depression that I suffered the first time I was on the pill.

That season of depression was now 5 years ago, but it brought to light some on going mental health issues that I still have to live with today. That depression that was either brought on by my first few months on GINET, or my pre-existing poor mental health was catalysed by the drug; turning from chronic anxiety to very suicidal depression.

I only wish I knew that I had a history of anxiety. Instead I put the daily bats in my belly down as morning sickness, or butterflies due to a boy I liked. Back then I had no idea that mental health and mental illnesses were a thing, or that other people in my family were medicated for such problems.