11 Massively Important Things You Want To Be Doing before your Wedding

March 21, 2018 Beka Ellen 0 Comments



When you are getting married and having a wedding the moments can come when you wish the day was here already. But aside from the decorations and the invitations and the flavour of the cake there are plenty of things to get through that take more time than it takes to decide "silver or blue?"


Here is a list of things to make sure you spend your engagement wisely preparing as best you can.



Praying

I feel like there are people out there who pray even if they aren't into everything about the christian lifestyle and church stuff. And being one of those people who is quite involved with it I still want you to be encouraged to pray even if you don't think there's anyone listening.

I do happen to have a close relationship with God and I know he wants to bless anyone who goes to him for answers and opportunities to be opened. Marriage was something that I believe he designed and if you go to the source asking for assistance to have the best marriage you could, then he's going to be more than willing to show you things you haven't thought of before.

Things to pray for are Peace among your families, Favour over the weather, Joy that everyone really have a great day, Patience for yourself as you try to make decisions with your partner, Self-Control for those who might say something stupid over the microphone, and Protection from the enemy as he make his attempts to get in the way; he's an asshole and he hates people having great marriages, but God is so much bigger.


Apply for your marriage licence

This one is just too important for you to miss; yes it's directly part of sorting out the wedding and that's not what this list is meant to be about so I'm just giving you a quick reminder.

Getting a licence isn't something you typically see people focused on in the movies, and that's where most of our ideas about marriage and weddings come from, at least it is for me, so if you don't know how to do this at all. In NZ it takes a number of days to process and a number of working days to be returned in the post. It will also expire in a few short months. So you don't want to do it too soon, and you defiantly cannot leave it to the week of the wedding.


Pre-Marital Counselling

Even If you are not involved in church you can find one for this. Your pastor is likely to have a course they want to take you through, just so they know they did their part to prepare you for your new marriage. But I also highly recommend it because I know I haven't got it all together, and if fact I never will.

You and your fiancé might end up talking to a married couple for a number of weeks. You might go through a course designed to teach you communication skills, or God's design for marriage.

On the other hand, you might simply have mediated discussions on hard topics and get through a lot of your own ideas so the two of you are on the same page. Topics like finances, children, house-keeping, and how you will do Christmas with or without your extended families.


Growing your hair

Those incredible photos of wedding hair styles on Pinterest probably won't work so well if you are currently rocking a lob. That's what I had this time a year ago and it was very hard to do anything with it.

Seriously I went to my best friend's wedding looking like a mad lady with a bird's next on her head. So to make it easier for the hairdresser to do your hair up on your wedding day and for it to stay in place more securely, try to grow a few more inches yet.

The same goes for your bridesmaids if they have long long hair and that's something you want to work with you are allowed to say to them 'Please don't cut that all off.'



Reading Books about Marriage

Here's a list of my favourite resources to get you started.

As Nikki Schumacher said in one of her videos, you shouldn't let there be an such an extreme unbalance between the number of books you read and media you consume that is for fun and the number of books you read and the resources you go through to improve your skills and knowledge of marriage.

As we go through life we slowly learn and are ripe for learning certain lessons. We mustn't forget to learn more about marriage even after we've been doing it for a number of years.


Figgureing out Who Your Married Friends Are

The pressure to do marriage well can be a huge weight on our shoulders. The truth is you and your spouse can not do it alone. You need friends who are also married and have experienced the same changes as you are about to.

It's important to establish some sort of agreement between those people that they will always be there for dinner and a chat about what you're going through. It would be good to have at least one pair of married friends each. One who is your friends, and one who is your partner's friends. I promise this does not mean they will automatically take your side or your partner's; in fact you'll be in for some enjoyable and unpredictable moments of support and advice.


Sorting Out Your Contraception

Are you going to use hormones or not? If getting married is the first time you are going to be doing what could get you pregnant (which I recommend and have zero regrets about) then you'll be after a plan for avoiding pregnancy.

If you are going to go on the pill you should go on it for a couple of cycles before you can be sure to have stopped ovulation altogether. This is what I tried to do but I baled after 4 days and believe me: that will bring on an early period. So much crying and other serious risks was just too much to handle.

The best way to prevent pregnancy without using hormones is to track your cycle and ovulation. Your body temperature rises very slightly as is gets ready to release an egg. It's very helpful to know when this happens so you can be extra carful around this time, say with the assistance of spermicide and barrier methods.

Either way you need to take time to get to know your own body.


Renew your passport

This is something I'm currently stuck on. Remember you need a referee, someone you aren't related to but has known you for a year and has their own passport. The application can take time to fill and then process, so if you are honeymooning in another country you must give do this early enough to work out the kinks.

Also I've learned to enter America and to enter Canada one must have a visa. That sounds scary and not work the effort because I won't be there for more than 2 weeks, but the travel agent will handle it for me. That is, once my passport arrives brand spanking new.


Getting Dancing Lessons

Your first dance at the reception should looks spectacular, and it is totally possible if you take the time to learn and practice a waltz or other ballroom dance.

So look online or through the phone book for dance coaches and set a time for you and your fiancé to have fun together out on that floor.


Reaching out to Friends & Family

When you draft a list of people who should be at the reception you will come across people who you are not sure you want to really be there. Time and distance changes people and even when we try to deny it, this changes our relationships with others.

Sometimes the relationship changes so much we'll wonder if we're even still friends. Maybe they've forgotten all about us. I'm just being real, this happens. I'll link a video by Absolute Motivation that points out the danger and anxiety around this situation.

In the time leading up to your wedding you should work on these relationships. Make a commitment to get through the awkwardness now and repair the relationship. That awkwardness should not have a place in your special day. Yes, weddings bring people closer, but so should the months that lead up to it.


Assisting in Leaving your family in a good place

Something that God has recently put on my heart is the strain the environment of our family is for some individuals. One of my siblings are not feeling loved like they should and the same for one of my parents.

Something incredible that might happen quite often is that as I prepare for going into my own new family the people I'm leaving behind become guinea pigs for me to test the advice I've been reading. What's particularly shown through is the message from my new favourite book of all time; love and respect. The information in this book has the power to totally transform marriages and families.

So if there's anything you can do to encourage your family, spend time doing that before you are no longer so on the inside.


Got any pre-wedding advice? Leave it in the comments for everyone down below.

xxoBeka

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