Emotions,

I can't be the perfect girlfriend.

February 20, 2017 Beka Ellen 0 Comments



Before really getting into writing this, I need to say I don't know what my intention is with this post; whether it's to inform you about a certain topic, entertain you, convince you of a certian argument, or offer a new perspective you may not have thought of. Most likely it is the latter. I just know I need to say something about how love and relationships get portrayed in the media. It's wrong. I have grown up my whole life watching other characters fall in love but there is no way that that helps any of us. I think many of us have forgotten that the purpose of those movies and fairy-tales is to entertain us. And the usual love story is the blooming of a love between two perfectly good-looking people and the way they actually got together (Maid of honour, The ugly truth, Cinderella), Or it is the way that two people who are already in a relationship deal with a rather extreme situation, eg. One of them is ill (The fault in Our Stars), They have a ridiculous group of people living next door (Neighbours), or One of them was assigned to eliminate their partner (Mr & Mrs Smith). And if that is not enough confusion to our expectations the way people break up in the movies is also usually due to an extreme circumstance ie. They spent no time together on their honeymoon (Letter's To Juliet) like what normal couple plans that, or they can't decide what continent to live on (Like Crazy).

But for the most of us, who have a fine bill of health and no issues with our visa, these examples are useless when we actually want to work out how to love our partner. Hence this post's title. It's true I can't be the perfect girlfriend for a number of reasons 1) I don't look like these people- I don't have an on-call team of stylists and I don't go to the gym a whole lot, 2) I have already been dating my partner for 2 years and there's nothing a script-writer would find worth putting to the big screen, should he take a magnifying glass to the working of our relationship. He'd simply say your love is boring. But that's the way it should be. How are we meant to navigate boring, everyday, real love when we look to the media for help?

We have to stop looking there altogether. But perhaps this is happening subconsciously. I challenge you to watch what your thoughts are doing when you say to yourself things in this relationship are not going well. Maybe things are boring, but that doesn't mean things aren't going well. See if you can recognise where these thoughts are coming from; You might be surprised. I'll be doing this too in the next wee while and I am sure that as a millennial there will be a number of examples I'll come across.

And if we need to stop looking at to our education of love from the media for help in our real life relationships, where should we look? I'd love to know what you guys think. What resources have you found that might actually help? Who do you ask for advice? Let's share down in the comments down below.

xxoBeka

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