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100% introvert.

It should be obvious being a musician, an artist that I prefer my own company to large crowds of people. But this isn't just a preference, I have a seriously crippling lack of ability to do well in social situations. Especially with people I don't know.

I thought I'd explain what it can be like for an introvert in social situations because I know there are some people who are more extroverted out there who could do with understanding us a bit better; and otherwise, this will explain what an introvert is.

▶︎ When I walk into a room with lots of people I am immediately aware of everything that is going on. Like a cat trying to work out "Is it safe to come in, is the dog outside?" or "Have you stopped hoovering? You know I don't like the sound the vacuum cleaner makes".

▶︎ Except when it comes to humans, other people who make you uneasy or you simply have nothing to say to, and the loud mummer of so many different voices is entirely unavoidable. You can't just say, "No, I'm not coming in, I don't want to," you have to go in either way. It's the rules of human social behaviours.

▶︎ So from the start you are constantly trying to be aware of what other people in the room might next do and you can't concentrate on the conversation you are having. Your brain is so busy watching and listing through the buzz of voices, or the words in the music playing, that you are immediately overcome with exhaustion.

▶︎ Your eyes become droopy and you soon give up on knowing what else is going on because you know by now that you just don't care. It's all too much of a blur and a buzz.

▶︎ And then you just want to curl up on a couch and go to sleep.

▶︎  People are exhausting.

This is what happens to me anyway. Do you struggle with this too?

Introversion is being energised when you are alone or with a close friend, but in a group you just can't deal and it makes you tired.

Introverts are the people who know where the exits are and if there is a way to step outside and still look they are joining in. Like going into the kitchen and just helping with snacks. We will probably take any excuse to get away from that incessant buzz of voices.

Hope this helped.

xxoBeka.

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